Be Curious not Judgemental

Streetheart, a band we grew up with in the 80’s was strumming their famous tunes just a few feet from where we were standing. Nope, we didn’t have front row tickets for the concert – not exactly anyway.

Our friends were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and choose to spend their money entertaining their favorite 100 people for a backyard party. On the main stage (or in the garage to be more exact) was their favorite rock band playing a live, private concert for everyone to enjoy.

And enjoy we did! I took pleasure in noticing how in this eclectic group of people there were so many different ways of showing enjoyment.

Some people, were in a quiet embrace swaying to the music together. Some were in the very front jumping up and down dancing to the music. Some were sitting at the very back arm in arm watching all the action unfold. It reenforced the fact that there is not just one way to enjoy an experience, there are many, many ways and there is neither right nor wrong.

They celebrated there 25th with 100 people, we celebrated ours with just the two of us. No right, no wrong – just different. It doesn’t have to be my way or the highway.

This same philosophy can be applied to different ways to express grief, pain, angry, elation. Just because it is not the way we would express it, does not mean it’s not a clear and valid way. Yet how many times have we judged others for the way the acted/reacted?

Being judgemental of people does not make them so, it just makes us judgemental. Here are a few ideas if being less judgemental is something you would like to work on…

If you are into meditation or quiet contemplation or just plain talking to yourself, see if this is helpful to you – just notice when a judgemental thought passes your way, say to yourself – hmm, that was interesting I was really being judgemental there, I wonder what’s up with that? Am I a little jealous, mad, sad about something? Well judging them doesn’t do me any good, it certainly doesn’t do them any good – let’s just box up that thought and put it over here.
Try mentally shrinking the picture of you judging them.
Give people the benefit of the doubt – however outlandish – make up some reason why this situation could be happening – it always make me feel better and reminds me that my choices aren’t the only right ones and I don’t know other people’s stories. Maybe the kids that appear ‘bad’ have special needs, maybe the driver that cut me off is speeding to see his dying mom in the hospital, maybe… well you get the idea!
Develop a mantra to repeat to yourself in time of need like: there’s probably something I don’t know about this situation.

Just the act of being aware, may make you judge less and in my books, you get points for even trying!

Honoring each other’s differences in expressing emotion, being less judgmental and critical is just one more way you can live Your Life, Unlimited.

Rev. Glenn Morison is the Executive Directors for Open Circle, Initiatives for Just Communities and he talked candidly about an initiative that is proving to be a game-changer in lowering the rate of crimes by previously incarcerated criminal. This visitation program pairs up volunteer visitors with prisoners (or past prisoners). If you are interested in more information, you can contact Glenn at 204-290-9200 and visit the website: www.initiativesjc.org.

Last by not least on this week’s show I interviewed Debbie Dachinger, author of the recently released book, Wisdom To Success: The Surefire Secrets to Accomplish All Your Dreams.

Feel free to listen or read…

To air on Sept 22 – Judgement, Open Circles and Success Glenn Morison:Debbie Dachinger

Shifting to the Next Level – guest post by Debbi Dachinger

When we desire to shift our life to the next level, we should ask these questions.

Are you expressing thankfulness right now? Look at your level of Gratitude and Gratefulness.

How authentic are you in your life?

How adaptable are you?

Can life and circumstance still surprise and delight you?

Do you keep things simple or do you complicate life to be full of drama and chaos? Do you listen to others? Do you command the space you came here to inhabit? Do you use your gifts and talents? Does your passion lead you to the next right thing?

Being Authentic

“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” -Oprah Winfrey

Great leaders are who they say they are. Vulnerability and humility are hallmarks of the authentic leader and create a positive, attractive energy. We all want to help an authentic person to succeed. There used to be a divide between one’s public self and private self, but the social internet has blurred that line. Tomorrow’s leaders are transparent about who they are online, merging their personal and professional lives together.

Responsiveness

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” -Charles Swindoll

Everyone you come in contact with today is a potential viral sparkplug, for better or for worse, and the winning leader is one who recognizes this and insists upon a culture of responsiveness. Whether the communication is email, voice mail, a note or a tweet, responding shows you care and allows others to make a positive impact on your organization.

How Adaptable Are You?

“When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” -Ben Franklin

Gratefulness

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” -Gilbert Chesterton

Setting one priority doesn’t mean we don’t do other things. However, we give each of our biggest goals top priority in our busy schedules and look for ways to tie our other activities to that priority. It makes us go around the table to ask ourselves: What do we need to do this week to move this goal forward?

The best way to stay focused is to ignore the back and forth swings and instead focus on the long run.

REMEMBER:

Do What Makes Your Heart Beat The Fastest:
Surround Yourself With People Smarter Than You:
Nurture and Develop: Go where you’ll stretch yourself and be forced to grow in ways you wouldn’t have planned.

The point is this – we’re all going to be overpraised and we’re all going to be underpraised, but the key is to just buckle your seatbelt and keep on. If we’re not making mistakes and we’re not trying new things, then we’re not innovating. Learning from your mistakes is how you reinvent yourself and your life. Are you ready to shift?

To air on Sept 22 – Judgement, Open Circles and Success Glenn Morison:Debbie Dachinger

Best, Steph

Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success and an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker. She empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home. You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at http://www.YourLifeUnlimited.ca.

* Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), conferred by the National Speakers Association is the speaking profession’s international measure of professional platform proficiency. Less than 10 percent of speakers have earned this credential and are recognized as some of the best in their fields. Stephanie was one of only five professional speakers in Canada (and the only woman) to attain this designation in 2013

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by Stephanie Staples

Be Curious not Judgemental

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